Thursday, September 24, 2009


Last night Tens and I decided to put our money where our mouth is and bought a package of supposedly delicious 'pineapple lumps', thinking that no product with a funny commercial could possibly be disgusting. Well we were wrong, and have noticed that New Zealanders seem to have a strange fascination with revolting dessert products.

Ever wondered what racism tastes like? Well try New Zealand's Lolly Cake. Through extensive research I have determined it to be it's purest incarnation..

Tenny sells them at work, and the finished product looks something like this:

But if you break down the ingredients a bit, you'll find those innocent fluffy chewy marshmallowy chunks are actually these:

ESKIMOS!! The dreaded candy that once sparked a mild international full scale rumbling!

Of course not surprisingly Kiwis ferociously defend the right to use their racist little treat, but I have to wonder what they would think if the shoe was on the other foot and they went to a store in Canada and found a caricature of a Maori person.. honestly I suspect they wouldn't care at all. It's pretty obvious that the two things New Zealanders resist the most about modern Western culture is its PCness and the onslaught of the 'nanny state'. But does the addition of the eskimo candy make the lolly cake officially a form of evil?? Well, before discovering that a lollicake is spelled lolly cake I went searching for a picture of it and the first image that came up when I typed in "lollicake new zealand" was this:

I believe it is customary in the legal profession at this juncture to use the term CASE CLOSED!

1 comment:

  1. guys - can you please bring back an assortment of disgusting treats for us to blind taste test?